The B.O.C. Part II
The Bimbos Return
The doctor entered the room, glanced around, and shook his head in both exasperation and expectation. Suzzy was sitting on the couch painting her toenails lilac with trembling hands. Cyndii sat on the other end of the couch nervously twisting her one of a kind power beads from Wall mart. Chloe sat in a chair constantly adjusting her too small black halter-top, twisting as if cursed with a tic and fanning her face with a Woman's Day magazine simultaneously. The room was warm, the mood was intense, and the subject matter was almost radioactive; Suzzy and Cyndii had returned to the crop circle by light of the full moon and had dragged their canasta buddy Chloe along.
It all started three nights ago when the girls had gotten together for a game of cards at Suzzy's house. Ralph and Rocky had gone fishing out on the slough and it was girl's night out. Cyndii had brought some of her famous fudge she made from the recipe on the back of the Kraft Marshmallow jar and Suzy had the coffee brewing when the phone rang. It was Reva calling to say she'd have to cancel Canasta because her husband Harry had to work overtime that night and couldn't watch the kids. Suzzy had no sooner hung up the phone when the doorbell rang, and Chloe presented herself and a large bottle of Sangria at the door with her enthusiastic smile, which soon faded with the news that cards were pretty much canceled due to the absence of a fourth hand.
"Ahhhhhhh shucks!" stammered Chloe. "Well, there is always Cyndii's fudge and this hooch." Chloe grinned then grimaced holding up the iced bottle of deep red liquid.
"Well, it's a consolation anyway," agreed Suzzy. "But it ain't gonna play no 4th hand in Canasta. I got an idea girls. Did anyone see the moon tonight?"
This time Cyndii spoke up. "Suzzy Spazinski! What does the full moon have to do with a game of cards? Girl! You are up to something. If I was a cat on a fence my whiskers would be twitching right now."
"And the hair on my tail would be frizzing up," chimed in Chloe, adjusting the strap on her hot pink halter top and flicking her bic to the tip of a Marlboro Red.
"You girls have been feeding neighborhood cats too long," Suzzy countered. "Now listen. I got a plan. The guys are gone and the moon is full. I say we go out to the crop circle tonight. No one around to poke fun at us. We can bring the fudge and Sangria."
"I hate to see a pot of good coffee go to waste, considering the price," Cyndii argued. "Besides, what if there are murderers, rapists and plunderers out there, or some kind of nuts. I think we oughta stay here and play charades or rent a video Girls. What do you think?"
"Listen Sisters, it ain't the nuts we gotta worry about. It's the so called normal people that think the nuts are nuts that concerns me," Chloe said, exhaling a puff of smoke from her Marlboro Red.
Agreeing, Suzzy grabbed a Tupperware container from a high cupboard over the kitchen sink and placed the fudge inside. Opening the door to a pantry, Suzzy put four paper cups into a large bag, along with the bottle of Sangria and the Tupperware container.
"If some nut doesn't kill me out there, Ralph will if he finds out I went," stammered Cyndii. "I'm putting my Kaiser card into my pocket here just in case I'm not dead when they find me," she declared in a shaky voice.
"Cut it out. You're cursing us," Chloe and Suzzy said together, then laughed. "It is going to be a lot of fun."
Twenty minutes later all three women were getting out of Suzzy's yellow Volkswagon Bug out at Larry's Produce in crop circle land and tromping, single file, down the path through the wheat field with goodie bag in hand. Laughter could be heard off in the moonlit distance from deep within the wheat. Finally the three women arrived at the largest circle and sat down on the ground, Indian style and looked into the full moon.
Chloe was the first to speak, "Girls, I feel like they are watching us from up there in those blinking lights in the sky," she said, almost in a whisper.
"They probably are you nut," replied Suzzy. "That's an airplane. Probably one of them Homeland Security airplanes the Republicans hired out. I should've wore my red wig so they won't know who I am. After that National Inquirer article, they probably got me on their hit list."
"Suzzy, you're being paranoid. Just sit back and enjoy the energy. This was your idea anyway," Chloe responded. With that she lay back on the ground, put her hands over her chest, and closed her eyes.
"This feels wonderful. It is so relaxing," she sighed.
Cyndii stated, "I hear those voices off in the distance. What if someone sneaks up on us." She felt for her cell phone she had tucked in her bra on "vibrate" just in case she needed to be quiet and not alert anyone of her presence in an emergency.
"They won't," Suzzy said, and lay back on the ground. Reluctantly, Cyndii joined the group and reclined in the crushed wheat with the others. The warm air and fragrance of the earth and wheat were a soothing balm. The moon was an enormous orange ball that shown directly down on the circle as if it was the end of a direct path.
Suddenly there were several approaching voices and the shuffle of feet. A young Latino said, "Aye aye aye, Itchiwawa...son of a bitch. There are three dead people out here."
With that Cyndii began to sit up.
"Oooh! Jose. The big one is moving."
Suzzy sat up, then Chloe.
"Say man," challenged the Latino. "What you be messing with us that way playing you was dead."
"We were enjoying the energy of the crop circle," chortled Suzzy.
"I told you this was a bad idea," said Cyndii, shaking like a wet poodle in a puddle of pee.
"Didn't mean to scare you," smiled Chloe. Cyndii grasped at her left breast where her cell phone was secreted in her bra, ready to run and dial 911 simultaneously.
"What's in that paper bag," challenged a third Latino in a muscle shirt. A tattoo of a dragon was on his upper arm.
"Oh goodies," replied Chloe sweetly. "Fudge made with craft marshmallow and Hershey's kisses melted down."
"What's in the bottle lady? There ain't no fudge in that bottle," challenged the first Latino.
"Oh just some nasty old 7-11 Sangria," replied Cyndii, her knees knocking together in her upright position on the ground.
"Ooooooh boys. Our favorite kind of Sangria," chuckled the first Latino. "Nasty old 7-11 Sangria. Give it here Senoia's," he commanded, flexing his muscles. Laughing, he grabbed at the bag.
Suzzy, Cyndii and Chloe, who dropped her pack of Marlboro Reds in flight, screamed and ran for dear life out of the crop circle and down the moonlit path toward the waiting yellow bug.
Off in the distance, they heard the guffawing and gafooing of the Latinos as they swigged Sangria and made derogatory remarks about Cyndii's fudge.
As the three were driving home in the car, full speed ahead, Cyndii stated, "We were lucky to get out of there alive," to which Chloe replied, "Yeah, and to hear what they would have said if we weren't. You know, when they thought we were dead."
Suzzy said matter of factly, "I wonder who they were talking about when they said, and 'the big one is moving'".
Cyndii cast a dirty look Suzzy's way. "I'd forget I heard that remark if I was you, Suzzy Spazinski."
All three girls laughed and said together, "Bimbos of the Crop".
The doctor shook his head as the three girls ended their tale...."and that's how we almost got abducted by aliens out at the crop circle," Suzzy stated, her voice shaking.
"Probably illegal ones too," Chloe affirmed, pushing her bulging bosom back into the halter.
"We can't sleep. We can't tell our husbands anything. What can we do doctor?" Cyndii implored.
"Well ladies, I don't have a prescription for common sense, but I do appreciate your experience. Don't refer to yourselves as Bimbos. It isn't good for your self-esteem. Other than that, I suggest you go as a group with your husbands to a fine Mexican restraunt and desensitize yourself to this unfortunate alien experience, stay out of crop circles after 6:00 p.m., and write about your encounter...then publish."
With that, the doctor shook the hand of each woman and said, "It's been real girls. You've made my day," and walked away smiling to himself with a far away look in his eyes, thinking... "Awh yes...Bimbos they were, but delightfully ones indeed."
Jennifer Grant