The Journal of Om Mani Dom…
Buddhist monk and mall advisor for psychological support
Entry: Dec. 10, 2002….12 noon …Location situation and self-evaluation: Om Mani Dom auspiciously seated lotus style on red velvet materialistic chair outside big Macy’s store at mall in Fairfield, California. Hot green tea and ceramic deer with blinking red nose, much to humiliation of Om Mani Dom, rest on table beside chair. Above chair sign with red and green flashing lights read, “Stress station”. Internal observation of Om Mani Dom from discontented gut feeling says: “what is nice Buddhist monk like Om Mani Dom doing in place like this.” Then Om Mani Dom remember Corporate Manager of Mall is Jew so he hire Om Mani Dom as Xmas/Chanukah shrink dink to be neutral advisor to confused shoppers pulling hair while spending green wrinkled pictures of dead presidents.
Entry: 12:15 p.m. Perplexed corpulent lady with fur coat and smeared mascara, wet Kleenex in hand, tell Om Mani Dom she want to know what toy to buy little poodle dog for Chanukah. She say dog only person who love her and also best friend so gift must be special. Om Mani Dom tell corpulent lady, “Love and charitable act good for soul and heart. Go to dog pound and get puppy for more love and friendship for self and pet poodle. Win-win situation for all.”
Summary of interaction: Corpulent lady kiss Om Mani Dom on bald head, leave happy camper, and dog from pound get home. Lady happy, dog happy, puppy happy, and tax collector and George Bush happy too because puppy off county animal shelter support system. Win win win win win situation for Om Mani Dom. Mall manager not happy. Odds in favor of Om Mani Dom.
Entry: 12:35 p.m. Over caffinated blonde woman with mocha coffee cup in hand, wearing beaded blouse and short skirt that makes Om Mani Dom blush from discontented gut feelings asks with great anxiety, what she can get her boyfriend for under $50.00 for Xmas to win love and affection. Om Mani Dom explain law of five point massage to blonde woman and tell her for relaxation and seduction of boyfriend’s affections to get Tibetan bowl tone tape available for free at local library and play while giving massage. Om Mani Dom say to put $49.95 in bucket of Salvation Army bell ringer by mall parking lot to feed the homeless, provide rehabilitation for the broken in spirit, and toys for poor children.
Summary of interaction: Blonde lady give Om Mani Dom kiss on cheek and leave happy and full of hope. Win win win win win win situation happen. Blonde lady happy, boyfriend happy, Salvation Army bell ringer happy, librarian happy because new patron come, George Bush happy because lady save tax payer’s money by supporting poor, and Om Mani Dom happy because pretty lady kiss him on cheek. Mall manager not happy. Odds in favor of Om Mani Dom.
Entry: 1:10 p.m. Fat man with bald head in $700.00 suit from Macy’s come up to Om Mani Dom with red angry face. He point to sad looking middle age woman with head down and say nothing make her happy he buy her. He work hard seven days a week in shop to give her big car, big diamond and big boxes of Sees candy. Om Mani Dom look at woman and she start to cry. Om Mani Dom look at man and he shake his fist at woman. Om Mani Dom do short mantra then say to fat man with bald head, “Close your shop one day a week and take your woman’s hand in yours, and receive her as eagerly as you do green wrinkled pictures of dead presidents. Park car and walk with her…exercise is beneficial to body mind and spirit…time together make you closer to each other’s soul while exploring beauty of nature. Speak words of affection and see her with your heart and not your anger. Feed ducks in pond from left-over bread from your bountiful table. Count blessings for each piece of bread tossed, taking turns, and watch the ripples of the water as the birds receive. Go to zoo and enjoy splendor of animals in motion and laughter of children, laughing with them. Donate a brick in both of your names together as a couple to support the park and the keeping of the animals with the money you would have spent to bless the community as a whole. Rediscover what is invisible to the eye but most valued to the heart that your monetary pursuits have robbed you of….your pleasure in one another as man and wife, and for Xmas, fill not your wife’s Xmas stocking with treasures, but the emptiness within her heart that longs for your companionship and affection.”
Summary of interaction: Fat man with bald head put twenty dollar bill in Om Mani Dom hand, smile and walk over to sad lady and give her affectionate hug. She hug him back and cry happy cry. Win win win win win win win win win situation happen. Fat man happier and maybe even more healthier, wife happy she have affection of husband, ducks happy they get bread to eat, man happy who get part time job one day week in man’s shop when he take day off to be with wife, zoo keeper happy his park get large donation, children happy they have zoo to visit, Salvation Army bell ringer happy because Om Mani Dom put $20. in bucket, and George Bush happy man and woman, not taxpayers, gave big money to support zoo. Mall Manager not happy and fire Om Mani Dom. Discontented gut feeling leave Om Mani Dom and he now very happy camper too.
By Jennifer Grant